This year I am celebrating with my tiny dinosaur (when he eats he looks like a baby Dino it's adorable). I always knew I wanted to be a mom. I would play house as a little girl, I mothered my poor sister, my stuffed animals, my pets, and later I mothered my students. I am sure I try to "mother" my husband and my friends some times too (sorry guys).
Well, now I am doing the "real" thing. I am mothering Beckett. I won't lie the first couple weeks were hard and tiring and scary. He had bad reflux and some colic and I wanted to sleep.. And shower.. And sleep some more. I knew I loved this tiny man, but also knew my life would forever be completely changed. At first, I missed my job, my skinny jeans (still miss those), and my quiet time with my husband and I just wasn't sure if being a stay at home mom was for me.
Now we have settled into a good rhythm. Sure there are days that I have spit-up in my hair (and on my foot, and my pants, and my watch, oh and my shirt), and circles under my eyes (as dark as a raccoon), but I honestly am not bothered.
Yes, I need a break sometimes (you know to eat and use the bathroom like a "normal" person, or go to the store by myself), but when my break is over I have missed my little man.
Oh my, I have 17 more pounds to loose and a stomach to tone, but a child made with love started his precious journey inside me, so really it's okay.
To sleep through the night without crying (sometimes his crying - sometimes mine), giving back pacifiers, changing a blow-out, feeding, or pumping sounds great, but soon my baby won't need me at night and I already feel I will miss those quiet times with sweet cuddles.
I rarely finish a tv show without someone waking up or crying, but now we play and sing songs, have play dates, lots of walks, and just interact. TV .. What TV? That thing need not exist during the day (hey - I still like Good Wife and Parenthood at night).
No more meetings at work, dressing up for conferences, or dressing down for field day. No more coffee in the hallway with colleagues or quiet lunches. Instead, I wear yoga pants more often than I should (really- they are comfy oh well) and have loud lunches with mommies and other babies.. Coffee is consumed in the afternoon. My job has changed for now and I am content.
There are toys on the floor, burp cloths on the couch, bottles all over the counter, milk consuming the freezer, strollers in the garage... Now my home feels complete.
My heart feels complete. My little family is growing and there is no feeling like it. I love being a mom more than I ever could imagine. It has shown me how strong I can be, how patient I can be, and has shown me another side to my husband. I am so thankful to him for being a solid partner in this parenthood journey. I cannot imagine doing it with anyone else.
I am so thankful for my mom and my grandmothers and for their love for me and now for Beckett. I'm thankful for a loving mother-in-law who created a loving son to care for Beckett.
I am so thankful God blessed me with this perfect little man. I only hope he will continue to bless our little family with more children down the road.
So Happy Mother's Day to me and all the other selfless, nurturing, sleepy moms out there. We are rocking this everyday, even when we feel we've failed or just want 5 minutes. We've got this.
To Mother's Day - which is really every day!
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