This is how I've struggled with the decision for the past few weeks (maybe months..)
"I want to stay home and will do anything to stay home." - This was the first two months and the sixth month.
"I want to work because I am going crazy at home." - This was at 2 months and 3 months.
"I want to stay at home because I am missing out and I don't like other people telling me what MY baby is doing." - These thoughts came after running summer camp (it was a great "test" and I was fortunate I have my mother-in-love and hubby watching B).
"I want to do both. Can't I just wear the baby all day and have a pack an' play in my classroom? Why don't we have part-time or job sharing in my county?" - These thoughts continue to float through my mind. I have voiced them to my principal about a million times now. He's a patient man.
After a LOT of deliberation, my husband and I decided (together) that I would take a year "off." In other words, I'm not going to be in the classroom full time for the 2014-2015 school year, but I did not resign from the county. I am also tutoring, among other things, for some cash flow.
Naturally, the next step was to pack up my 8 years of teaching supplies, books, and decorations. I, however, was putting it off. I was nervous (still am). Why?
- I LOVE my job. Teaching has been my life for eight full years and 3 intercession years. It's all I know.
- I work at a fantastic school! I love the staff and environment at CCE. It definitely became my home and those of you who are teachers know it's hard to find a school you love.
- I am not going to have a consistent paycheck. Let's face it. This is downright scary! Hence, my new adventure, which I will get to later.
- I am going to miss actually checking things off my to do list, having the option of a quiet lunch, talking with adults during the day, professional development, the look on my students' faces when they make progress, and morning coffee in the hall.
On the flip side, I'm looking forward to:
- Teaching Beckett new things every day
- Growing new relationships with sweet "mommy friends."
- Getting back to things I used to enjoy like cooking, baking, and crafting.
- Starting a new adventure as a tutor and teacher resource creator (I've always done both, but now I get to grow them into, what I hope, will be a part-time job). I also needed to do something other than the "mom thing" for my mental well being and for the sake of our bank account.
Check it out here: https://www.facebook.com/thesophisticatedteacher
To become a stay-at-home-mom or working mom is not an easy decision. I know for some it isn't a decision at all, so I feel fortunate that we are able to try this stay-at-home-mom thing for a year. I am not sure what God has in store for our family after this year, but I am excited to find out.
So, after a few meltdowns, many packed boxes, and countless discussions with my husband, I am jumping into this new adventure with two feet. Eek!
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