I've had a few friends who recently gave birth and it has brought back a lot of memories from when my LO was born (which was only 7 months ago, but I have already "forgotten" what having a newborn was like).
As most new (and first time) new moms do, they can me questions.
"When was B on a schedule?"
"When did B sleep through the night?"
"Did you supplement with formula?"
"Did you wait to offer a pacifier/bottle?"
"When did they sleep in their own room?"
The list goes on. Oh, how I remember the anxiety. Many doctors, nurses, family members, message boards, and friends will impose their thoughts and methods on new moms. It is OVERWHELMING. It is EXHAUSTING. It is DISHEARTENING.
So, this is my advice to new moms.
SURVIVE. That's it. Sounds ridiculous? Let me explain.
If your baby sleeps in the Rock N' Play, Pack N' Play, swing, car, stroller, bouncer, your bed, on the dog, you know wherever.. LET THEM SLEEP. Yes, you eventually want your baby to eventually sleep in their crib, but guess what? They don't even begin to recognize their surroundings until 4 - 6 months (really 6 months for the most), so take a breath and let the kid sleep. It WILL be okay.
Schedule? I am hearing a lot of "well, so and so says this can make the baby sleep through the night." Newsflash - newborns were not meant to sleep through the night. If someone has this miracle child they are either lying OR they are going to have a horrible teenager (payback you know). Babies have tiny tummies and are meant to eat every few hours (4-5 hours is sleeping through the night at newborn stage and is lucky my friend). You will not have a specific bedtime for a while. You will notice patterns if you track feeding/sleeping/diapers, but the patterns and "schedule" will change as they go through several growth spurts the first few months. You will get there. If you are breastfeeding, on demand is best for your supply. Eventually, you WILL find a great bedtime, but the recommended age for sleep training isn't until 6 months because that is when babies are more capable of sleeping through the night (if you get there before 6 months - go you).
If you are breastfeeding, woo hoo, that's great. If they won't latch or your boobs are so sore you feel like getting rid of them all together, then pump. Take a break. Use a nipple shield and/or bottle. Yes, many worry about nipple confusion, but that is NOT always the case (mine breastfed and bottle fed past the 6 month mark and we introduced the bottle and nipple shield early). The MOST important thing at the end of the day: is your baby getting enough food? That is all that matters.
Pacifiers are better than thumbs. That's all I'm saying. As long as your baby is eating enough, give them the darn pacifier. Some kids just need to suck. Period. It also reduces the risk of SIDs (find out more here:Reduce risk of SIDs. Better to eventually wean from a pacifier, which you can get rid of, unlike a thumb, or to have your nipples raw from continuous sucking. Again, you can still breastfeed when you use a pacifier.
It's okay if the house is a mess. If someone is judging your house they are either childless or clueless, either way, it isn't your problem.Your number one priority is to heal and bond. End of story.
It's okay if you don't want visitors or if the only visitor you want is your mom. People WILL get over it. The baby will be there and they can come when YOU are ready. Before B was born we actually sent an email saying we would be having family time the first two weeks, so visitors could call and schedule a visit at home after those two weeks were up. It really gave me time to rest and heal and for my husband and I to bond with our baby.
It's okay to ask for help. You will eventually shower most days of the week. You will eventually clean the kitchen and cook dinner. You will eventually run to Target. Until then, let friends/family help. They want to visit, okay bring a meal or run to Target first.
The first two months are all about survival. Do what is best for your baby and your family. If that means your baby is in your room for 4 months (like mine was because my husband was gone for 1/2 that time), then do it (by the way - B sleeps in his crib for 12 hours a night with no problem). If you pump and give a bottle, that's okay. If you supplement, go you! SURVIVE. Enjoy your baby. Once you stop listening to all the chatter and focus on your new little one, your mommy intuition will kick-in.
